It has been revealed that trans school shooter Audrey Hale wrote in her journal about a romantic desire for “brown girls,” and referred to herself as “white nothingness.” Hale, who murdered three children and three adults at the Covenant School in Nashville, Tennessee on March 27, 2023, repeatedly suggested that her life was without meaning, and that nobody would remember her when she died.
These are just the latest findings in Hale’s private writings, which were uncovered by investigators following the shooting and later obtained by the Tennessee Star via a Freedom of Information Act request. They have helped expose what the killer was thinking in the months before she carried out the gruesome attack.
According to the Star, on February 7 Hale wrote “white nothingness” in capital letters in her journal, adding arrows pointing to a paragraph in which she discussed her life. “My parents aren’t rich,” she wrote. “They work hard for money so I didn’t end up homeless. Yet I still feel bad.” Further down the page, the word “brain” was connected to the ideas of white privilege and embarrassment, with Hale referring to herself as “no one.”
In one entry, she wrote, “No brown girls, no love. I am nothing. Brown love is the most beautiful kind.” She repeatedly wrote about Sydney Sims, a black former classmate who passed away in 2022, suggesting that the two could be together in the afterlife.
“White nothingness” appeared in other places, one time it was at the end of a rant about how she believed, “No one will think my life meant something after I die.” After suggesting that no one would notice if she was gone, Hale signed the entry with the name Aiden, which she had chosen to go by after identifying as transgender.
At a part of the journal, Hale said she was “nothing” and declared she was the “most unhappy boy alive” and added, “I will be of no use of love for any girl if I don’t have what they need: boy’s body / male gender.”
